The Firsts

Summer flew by as summer generally does and here I am back at good ole' BC in my new apartment with my three new roommates. Like, wow. The summer was busy and good, all the things that summer should be. But just as the taste of summer freedom was becoming monotonous the school year has started again, and I begin my Sophomore year of college... still as a Music Performance Major. Like, wow squared.

I've been thinking more and more about my writing, and what I want it to be. Particularly what I want my blog to bed, and as I look at the posts of the past I realize how much I have transformed from the 16 year old who started Ivory Giraffes. I'm now a 19 year old pseudo adult who's knocking the college life out of the park. And I think to myself, "what a wonderful world". But, for real though. Everything that I dreamed college would be is so completely different, and I'm so pleased by the differences. I'm so blown away by how much God has blessed me with the opportunity to have the school that I have and the friends/roommates that I have. I'm so incredibly grateful for the opportunities that have been placed before me that I cannot help but just laugh and smile. Who I am after one year of college has changed so dramatically, and I'm anxious to see what the next three have in store for me.

I went to Chicago over Labor Day weekend where all three of my roommates and I traveled to spend the weekend with one of their families. And just being able to experience the minor differences in how families work, and the opportunity to feel like a "home away from home". To love and be loved by people who are not obligated to care for me at all, may just be one of the best feelings. As wonderful and as thankful I am for my family, I know that they are obligated in a sense to love me. But to witness and feel the love of people who have no obligation to me at all just fills me with such hope.

By no means has this entire past year been perfect. Trying to be in a relationship six hours apart has been one of the most difficult things of my life. The Boy and I have gotten in more fights in the past year than we ever did in the rest of our relationship combined. The freshman experience was not the best for me, from having to learn to get along with roommates to dealing with feeling like the whole world hated me; it was not always easy.

Nevertheless, I am beyond blessed. To have these girls. To have this college. To have my God who always watches over me, and gives me a new name in Him.

*I apologize for literally being the worst blogger on the face of the earth. Life is busy and ish gets in the way. I won't promise to keep super updated on the blog, so make sure to follow me on Instagram and Twitter, because let's be real. I be crazy with those updates.*

Home.

In the past couple of days snow has accumulated significantly in Mishawaka, Indiana. So much so that both of the ponds on Bethel's campus have froze over, providing an opportune place to test one's courage and walk across. {the picture is not of me, but rather one of my bff's brittany. although i also crossed the fierce reflection pond} What does this mean for me? Lots of cuddle time with Shang in my dorm when I'm not required to go to a class. 

I really enjoy my cozy little room, where most everything is either grey or purple. It has a quaint charm about it that I have come to love. I wasn't sure if I would ever feel like this dorm room was home, but come to find out: I have. I realized this today as I was finally walking back to my dorm. See, I had a really long day today. I was constantly either in class or in the practice room from nine this morning until five. And when I was walking back I realized how glad I was to be going to my room, my room. Where I live. And this... this is my new home. My home away from home. 

Thankfulness.

Well, Thanksgiving break is done and I have a feeling I'm not going to easily find peace, tranquility and harmony. What with only 3 weeks left of my first semester of college, I need to start studying for finals... and that's just crazy.

I'm not entirely sure where the time has gone, and sadly to say, I haven't recorded it much through this ole' blog like I should have. I'm hoping {still} to get back into the routine of blogging regularly... about what, I'm not entirely sure. But I'll get there. I'm sure of that much. 

Anyways, even though Thanksgiving is over with and all the Christmas festivities are beginning I'll share a little of what I'm thankful for:

• Bethel College. I always knew I wanted to come here, and was worried that my exceedingly high expectations would not be met... Well, I'm excited to say that they were definitely met. I've had the most amazing time learning, and not only learning about my faith and my music. But learning who I am, and how to interact and love people better than I ever have before. 
• One the same note as before: My suite mates. Rebecca and Brittany. I'm so thankful to have them in my life, to be able to share so many firsts with them. I'm so grateful that they accept me for who I am, and push me on towards being the best I can be. For allowing me to open up without feeling like a complete squirrel, and for just being two of the best friends I've ever had. 
• Home. As much as I love being at Bethel, I'm so thankful that I have a home to go back to when I'm tired and ready to be around familiar faces. And not just any home, but my home. Where I can be me, and know that everyone loves me even when I go to see Breaking Dawn without them. 
• And where would a post of thankfulness be without Hunter? I'm so thankful that this boy has been willing to stick by me, even when I'm far away and hard to stick by. When I have my crazy breakdowns, and when I'm really mad at him for not talking to me enough. He loves me anyways. I love him. And that's something to be thankful for. 
• My God. I don't think I've always been someone to be thankful for God, and sometimes I'm still one of the most awful people in the world and go days without thinking Godly things. But I'm learning, and I'm thankful that He allows me to learn, and doesn't expect me to be perfect all the time. Because I'd definitely fail that exam. 

Ireland.

How lovely is this sweater? 

It's absolutely gorgeous and I'm extremely fond of it. Literally a chunky sweater from Ireland. Ireland people. My lovely Aunt sent it to me, and there is nothing I love more than packages. While being in college I've realized how nice it is to receive a package, a letter, anything. I check my mailbox daily... and if I'm being completely honest probably hourly. But it also makes me realize how the written word is dwindling. Writing letters isn't common anymore, and I've found that I'm fairly inept at writing them. It's such a beautiful thing to sit and write a letter for an hour or so. Seeing two or more pages of ink on fresh paper. I enjoy doing it, more than I initially thought I would. Something about writing letters makes you feel like you're closer to whoever you're writing to. Like you're baring your soul more than any text will ever do. 

Blessings.

 Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm actually living in a new place. Not just visiting. It's  a very hard thing to wrap ones mind around. Most of this time I feel as if this is just some vacation that will soon be over with... but then I see my stack of homework and reality comes knocking at my door. 

I spend most of my days going from class to class and doing homework. But I'm so enjoying the college dorm lifestyle. The community that comes along with it. I've never been one for having many friends, girl friends especially. I just always felt as if all the girls I ever met just hated my guts. We never got along and I found the way to cliquey. But here. Here everything is different. I've finally found a place where I seem to fit in, and I don't even have to try. I've found people, girls, who actually accept me for me. They don't think I'm too conservative, they don't think I'm too worldly. They just like me. And sure, sometimes they make fun of my crazy antics, but I know that they love me. And I love them. I would honestly do anything for these girls, and I know that if I ever needed anything they would have my back. It's something that I haven't felt, well, ever. 

I am so incredibly blessed.