Thursday, June 14

In Which I Call It Like I See It

Life is just an allotted amount of time we have to do big things, to make people notice us so that we can live forever in their memories. And we're all screaming, jumping up and down, doing practically anything to make others see us, but no one does. Mainly because they're all preoccupied doing the same darn thing. We all pretend that we like it that way. That we don't want any attention. But we're just kidding ourselves. No one wants to be forgotten. To die and have not a single soul remember them. All of us, the whole human race, tries to act so tough. Like nothing anyone says or does to us even hurts us. But our whole charade is BS. Everyone is just begging for everyone else to care. But you know? You want it. I want it. Everyone else wants it. So don't we be the ones to step out? To say, "Hey. I see that you're going through a hard time. I get that you're really sad, and you just want someone to say they care. So, here I am. I care." We all just want to be pursued.

... I wrote this in my journal the other day {Some mild editing since then} when I was at the beach. By myself. Being sad and depressed about the fact that one of my favorite people in the world had moved away. I'm wounded. Not just by her moving, but by everyday life. We're all so wounded, but no one ever goes to be the bigger person and say "Hey. I'm wounded too. Just like you." That's all any of us wants. Some recognition.
I don't care who you are. You're wounded. I know it. This isn't just an assumption about you, it's something that I know for a fact. We all have our wounds. Some different than others, but all the same. The same in that they hurt. And they're real. Whether your best friend turned her back on you, your dog died, or your Mom is in the hospital. They're all equal pains. And here I am saying, I'm wounded too. Sometimes I let my wounds define me, even. Sometimes I let them control me. A lot of the time I let them control me. And I'm really sick of pretending I'm alright all the time. It's exhausting. 


  1. That's so true Hannah. I could not agree more. Half of my school population smokes/drinks, and I think the main reason is for social acceptance and to fit in. And you're right, everyone wants to be memorable, but sometimes the only way you can do that is by acting in a way that you aren't usually like.

    I'm so sorry you felt depressed, I hope you feel better soon! I felt the same exact way when my best friend moved 3 state lines away. But the pictures are gorgeous!


  2. First,I just want to say how inspirational this is and how incredible it is that you're just so honest on your blog. I've began to look up to you as a role model,(Me being younger than you)and you seem like such a strong person,but not because you hide your weaknesses,because you show them. That is what true strength it,and I honestly just realized that reading this post.

    Second,this is so completely true. We all want attention,but we all act like we'd rather be alone. Nobody wants to be alone all the time,they want someone to lean on. Even though some may want to be alone sometimes or even be okay alone,nobody wants to be fully alone all the time. This kinda relates to my life for 2 reasons; I always act like nothing hurts me and build up a wall to avoid getting hurt,but people need to get hurt to grow stronger,like trimming your hair. You need to cut away to grow back stronger. The other reason is one of my good friend's mom just died unexpectedly,and this girl has already gone through enough;cancer,bullying,etc. She acts as if she's okay now,because she's being strong for everyone,but it's okay for her to let people know she is sad. She's only 13.

    Anyway,sorry for my ultra-long comment,but thank you for this post.

    Maddie Shae

  3. @maddie shae
    This is sucha sweet comment! Thank you :) I do the same thing with letting things build up, and my boyfriend is trying to help me not be like that. But it's really hard sometimes!

    On another note, if your friend needs anyone to talk to who's been through a similiar situation feel free to give her my email address. My dad died on my sixteenth birthday, and I can totally relate to trying to be strong for everyone.

    1. You're welcome!! Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy & you two are adorable together! :)

      I'll see if she's interested in talking to someone,it hasn't really set in yet,but my mum said it probably will after a week or so when everyone has started going back to their lives and aren't so focused on being there for her.

    2. It definitely gets even more tough after the first week or so when everyone leaves.

    3. Yeah,but I promised her I'd always be there for her. She's a very spiritual person,so I know she'll see the better side of things. This is random,but do you believe that some people are given a gift from God to be able to see and talk with people who have passed away??

    4. I actually have some opinions about this, and the best way for me to answer would be a video response. So if you'd like comment below with your email address (I won't publish the comment so no one else will see it) and I'll send you a video :)


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