BISD #2

There I am. Zero makeup. Hair in a weird bun thing. (Limited editing due to the whole picture having a weird yellow tint to it.) No fixing imperfections. And I can honestly say that I do feel beautiful in this picture. I like my eyes. Even with the weird dark circles under them. 


So many girls have issues with feeling beautiful. It hurts me, but I can relate. Feeling beautiful is so important to a girl's self esteem, feeling beautiful is equated with happiness. What I'm trying to realize is that I've seem many beautiful girls who were not happy, but I haven't seen any happy girls who were not beautiful. Being beautiful shouldn't be about looking like an atypical model. Blonde. Tall. A nice sized rack. If that were the case I'd be just about the ugliest person in the world. Being beautiful should be about being the best you you can be. And being satisfied with who you are. Sure, sometimes I'd like to knock my snaggle tooth into submission (okay. most of the time i want to...) and there are days when I'd love to shed just a couple pounds. Or at least tone up the pounds I have. But, I realize that none of those things will ultimately make me happy. 
It hurts me to the core seeing little girls watching what they eat. Putting on makeup. They're losing their innocence, and it's a scary thing to watch. When I was eleven I didn't even "like" boys, but here I see an eleven year old declaring her love of her boyfriend over Facebook. I see her putting on makeup to feel beautiful. I see a little girl who will always look for her value in boys, and in the way she looks, rather than the beauty of her soul. 


I don't think I can fully explain to you how scary it is for me to put pictures of myself, especially without makeup, on the Internet. Like most girls, I've been told I was ugly before. Or that if you do this, or maybe that, you'd look better. Being told those things hurts, and the little scars will never go away. No matter how many compliments you receive you'll never fully forget the insults. So, putting pictures of myself on my blog without makeup may not seem like a big deal to you but I dare you to try it. It feels like a huge release. And it feels good to be seen. To, in a sense, be naked.