beauty.

If you haven't noticed.... I haven't posted a picture in a couple days. And there is a good reason as to why not. Actually, it's a really lame reason. I'm starting to feel really guilty about the reason, actually.

I haven't posted a picture because...

I have some zits. 

Like I told you, it's really lame and extremely shallow. And the more I think about it, the shallower it is. 

But for some odd reason, I'm extremely stressed about my face right now. I barely ever get zits and all of a sudden I have a face full. Ok, a whole face full is a little bit of an exaggeration. I have 4. Two on my forehead, and two on my left cheek. 

Plus I have this weird thing on the left corner of my mouth. It's not a zit, it's like a patch of dry skin or something. I hate it and its ugly. Therefore making me feel ugly. Which then makes me feel completely hideous, meaning I start feeling fat and ugly and just altogether crummy. 

I know in the long run how I look means nothing. Actually, in the short run how I look means nothing. Nothing at all. There are people out there with no home. No family. No food. Not a single thing in the world, and I'm over here in comfy little America thinking my life is done because I have a freaking zit which will probably be gone in a week. I'm such a selfish brat.

Over here in America I think the majority of us are like I am. Selfish. Shallow. Petty. We care about us, and what makes us feel good right now. We care about the aesthetic things of this world, like our face and our clothes and how nice of a care we have. 

Being a teenage girl, I think I'm more guilty of this than a lot of people. 

I'm putting my value in how many zits I do or do not have. I'm feeling sorry for myself because I'm not perfect. And I don't feel beautiful. But guess what? Beauty isn't a feeling. Just like love, and forgiveness. It's a choice. Being beautiful is in how you carry yourself. And right now, I'm not being beautiful. 

Life is a strange thing you know, the people who don't have it quite as well me who don't have the brand name clothes, the makeup, the showers even. Those are the beautiful people.